How Shame Drives Our Fears
by Leah Guy, author, The Fearless Path
Energy is real.
There’s a popular hashtag circling the web of healers and seekers: #energyiseverything. To understand our emotional and mental health, and gain more control in learning how to achieve greater health, looking at the state our energy field can give great insight.
In this article, we will focus on the solar plexus chakra.
The third chakra, otherwise known as the solar plexus, is located at the top of the stomach under the ribs. Physically, it governs the area and organs of your digestive process and emotionally, it governs how you process life, in particular, how you relate and identify with the world around you. This is the seat of your personality and ego, as well as your willpower, determination, and self-esteem. If you suffer from low self-worth or lack of determination, it is likely that this is a trouble zone for you emotionally and could be initiating a lot of deep fear. Working with shame is critical to rebalance the energy in this area.
Often I see clients who are experiencing anxiety or discontent in their life. They feel stuck and don’t have the gumption to do things differently. As we dig into their emotional history and energetic patterns, it’s not uncommon to find repressed shame and feelings of low self-worth emerge, along with a good deal of self-loathing and pain. When we have had difficult relationships, especially with our parents, it creates a strained relationship with ourselves. We tend to abandon ourselves in an effort to win approval and love of the other. This is true for people who had alcoholic parents, verbally or emotionally abusive caregivers, detached parents, parents who abandon the child, or narcissistic parents.
As children, we interpret the difficult emotions that revolve around such a relationship as being our fault. That we aren’t good enough for normal, healthy love and care. We can feel guilty or sick by association of people who are harmful and shamed for not being able to help or fix our loved one. We feel belittled by embarrassment and/or want to hide from further pain. Sometimes the energy of emotion gets so difficult that we try to strangle it inside, or feed it or bury it by over-controlling our experiences or creating more shameful experiences in order to tolerate ourselves. In essence, we clamp down on the flow of life — we stop taking in life and stop digesting it fully.
Fear may be keeping you from going after that new job or seeking a new relationship, but it is really the emotional energies that are keeping you trapped behind the fear. Many people don’t feel good or worthy enough to function, much less strive for a peak experience or live out dreams. When one is full of shame and fear it’s hard to self-identify or feel good enough to have an average day without anxiety or panic.
Physically taking care of our bodies can help shift the energy of these emotions at the core. We must also attend to the emotional and energetic aspects of our lives. Eating well and nourishing ourselves does wonders for balance in the mind and emotions. It tells our spirit that we still care. Going further and working with a health practitioner in regards to emotional processing, inner child work, and energetic balancing can also be extremely helpful. As you begin to touch the root of your issues, you look fear in the face. When fear knows you are present, it backs down.
Below are indications that you may be holding a lot of shame in your emotional body and have fear as an imbalance of this toxic state.
Physical Signs and Symptoms of imbalanced solar plexus chakra:
Ulcers, liver or gallbladder issues, digestive disorders, fibromyalgia, diabetes, hypoglycemia, low stamina, protruding stomach
Emotional Signs and Symptoms:
Control issues, feeling worthless, need to dominate, self-criticism, sarcasm, OCD, aggression, eating disorders, shaming self or others, selfishness, need for power, lack of confidence, emotional outbursts, lack of ambition, addiction, entitlement issues, helplessness, blaming others
If you have several of the above symptoms present in your life, it may be time for some deeper healing work to promote a healthier sense of self-esteem, security, worthiness, and processing the pain of feeling not good enough.
When I was a teenager, I felt so empty and misunderstood at times. I couldn’t communicate my experiences, my spiritual understanding, or my emotions. The desires of my heart didn’t feel seen or encouraged. So I binged and purged on food. I had an eating disorder off and on for 7 years. I finally realized there were other ways to be fulfilled, but it took a series of addictions to get me to the place of seeking help. I had a deep void of loneliness coupled with a worthiness wound that needed to be addressed by me, without blaming others. On the path of recovery, I worked with many healers and therapists that gave me tools to transform, and later developed my own. Energy work was essential for me in rebalancing my solar plexus and sense of self-worth. Physical health was crucial. Understanding my negative patterns and habits was critical. I still work on it today. This energy takes some time to heal, but it is very doable. Stay with it. Love yourself and build confidence in what connects you and feeds your Soul.
Solar Plexus Balancing Tools
Affirmation: I am worthy. I am loveable.
As I strengthen my connection to my true self, I initiate self-confidence, will-power, and determination in my life.
Journaling exercise: Create a dialogue with your inner child.
Close your eyes and envision yourself as a young person, between ages 4–9 years old. Ask your younger self what they need to feel safe, to feel seen, validated, and loved. Using alternate handwriting practices, use your dominant hand to write as the adult-self, and your non-dominant hand to answer as the inner child. Ask simple questions. Tell him/her how much you love them. That you see their sadness, their fear. Reassure your inner child that you will never abandon them and that you will do your best to always validate and care for the feelings and needs of your inner child.
Check-in with your inner child when you feel imbalanced, unworthy, unheard, or unloved. See if you can provide support and nurturing to yourself and release the expectation of others to fill the void. Love your child healthily, but also with discipline. When you are triggered or repeating negative patterns, notice if you can differentiate the behavior as a need from your inner child wounded self, or from your adult self. This conscious awareness helps to build new patterns and relationships with ourselves and others.
Leah Guy is an intuitive transpersonal healer, spiritual teacher, professional speaker, and media personality. She offers wisdom from a lifetime of personal triumphs and more than 22 years helping clients transform their lives from fear and disconnection to heart-centered, soulful living. Also known as The Modern Sage, she owns the Modern Sage Healing Center and product line, and A Girl Named Guy Productions, LLC. Leah lives in Jersey City, New Jersey. For more information, visit her online at ModernSage.com or across social media channels.
