Healing from Fear

by Leah Guy, author, The Fearless Path

Fear is a topic I know well. Not only did a write a whole book about it, I’ve had years of experience working through fear and anxiety. Several people in my family had great anxiety, and as a child, I witnessed the debilitating effects of it.

After years of various techniques, supplements, and therapies, what I came to learn about fear is that it is one of our greatest teachers. (A teacher none of us likes, mind you!)

Showing up to our fears is one of the bravest things we can do. To face fear, no matter how rational or irrational, is true courage. And that’s what being fearless is — not removing the symptom of fear, but having the courage to show up and respond — to step into healing.

There are plenty of tips about how to reduce fear: how to breathe, how to meditate, how to eat or exercise, or how to remediate the attack once it’s started. While those are all helpful tools, you have to understand what fear is asking of you. What is fear’s message?

Fear and anxiety are symptoms. They are not diseases, by and large. Yes, some people have imbalances in their chemistry and need medical intervention. But most of us experience anxiety due to unprocessed emotions or negative beliefs that are stored in our body and energy field, which creates stress throughout our whole system. Long-term imbalances can create systemic issues like adrenal fatigue, insomnia, lack of focus, memory issues, and more.

Symptoms can be managed, and starting with the physical body is important. Getting grounded and centered, creating a safe environment, balancing nutrition, connecting with nature and people, and stabilizing your physical self as much as possible will help give you a better foundation. To work on deeper emotional issues, we need to be as stable as possible.

Fundamentally, under the fear, there are deeper feelings that resonate like earthquake aftershocks throughout our lives if we have unresolved emotions. We need to try to access and understand the feeling of fear so we can stabilize that emotion and not run from it every time it occurs.

See if any of these fit for you:

I don’t feel safe.

I don’t feel like I belong.

I don’t feel loveable.

I don’t feel worthy.

I don’t feel like I have a purpose.

On first reading, you may not feel able to say yes to any of these, especially as it relates to fear of getting sick, per se. I couldn’t resonate at first, either, but this is the work of emotional processing.

Let me tell you a brief story.

When I was young I loved to travel in airplanes. As I got into my early 30’s I became petrified of it. Yes, I’d had some scary experiences, but it was more than that. I had a fear so deep that the thought of an airplane made me dissociate and nearly pass out. I could barely do it. After quite a bit of self-work at the emotional level, I one day had a very powerful realization as I was boarding a plane.

I realized that if I was flying for work, I wasn’t as nervous. It seemed if there was a ‘reason’ to fly that connected me to something of importance, I felt braver and empowered to do what I had to in order to get there. But when I was flying for personal pleasure, my anxiety was through the roof. Crippling.

The deeper realization (that brought me to tears on a plane one day) was that I was not worthy to fly for just the sake of enjoyment. I didn’t think for a second I was going to make it, because I did not feel valuable enough, outside of value I’d identified with a job, or function. Deep down, under all of my pain, I realized I did not feel I mattered enough to enjoy the luxuries of the world that so many others enjoyed freely.

It was such a deep and uncomfortable feeling I could barely stand to acknowledge it. The negative belief about myself was bleeding into any area where personal safety or worth was at all questionable. For a long time, I avoided the feeling as much as I could, trying to bury this realization that I felt worthless and it was causing tremendous anxiety.

I was so awestruck of the people who were relaxed on a flight, going on vacations or just a quick weekend get-a-way. I was jealous that they felt the freedom to travel and enjoy their lives, which only made my insecurities (and anxieties) worse.

The biggest aspect of my healing journey was recognizing my worth as a human being, without an attached label. I worked hard to discover and accept the worthiness of Leah. It wasn’t easy work, sometimes it was terrifying to accept such a gift of freedom and self-love. But as I did so, I awakened to the most amazing truth: we are all equally worthy. There is absolutely no difference in value except what we create in our minds. And we create those judgments because of the list above; to feel safe, to feel loveable, to feel worthy, to feel like we belong.

I was just as worthy as anyone, and so are you, we just have to access that worth within.

What is the fear or anxiety trying to wake up within you? When anxiety or fear creep in, is it resonating with the deeper issues of insecurities, worth, love or safety?

When we can identify and be courageous enough to acknowledge our deepest fears, we are one step toward healing and living a more fearless path.

Sometimes we need a reminder to get in touch with our feelings. The below exercise is a creative and fun way to start.

Create a Freedom Jar

Pick a jar or vase that you like, preferably one with a lid. This jar will be a deposit for all of your fears and feelings. Have a stack of paper nearby — small strips of recycled paper work great. Every time a fear comes up, or a strong difficult emotion, jot it down on the paper and toss it into the jar. You can repeat the same fears or feelings many times if you need too. You can keep the jar active indefinitely, or free the jar by burning the papers at the end of the month, at the full moon or new moon. You might grow close to this jar, and that’s a good thing. It’s a place you can always trust to have a place to deposit your authentic emotions.

Leah Guy is an intuitive transpersonal healer, spiritual teacher, professional speaker, and media personality. She offers wisdom from a lifetime of personal triumphs and more than 22 years helping clients transform their lives from fear and disconnection to heart-centered, soulful living. Also known as The Modern Sage, she owns the Modern Sage Healing Center and product line, and A Girl Named Guy Productions, LLC. Leah lives in Jersey City, New Jersey. For more information, visit her online at ModernSage.com or across social media channels.